My name is Julia and I would like to tell you a story that happened to me. It all started in a rather unpleasant way, when my parents had to spend the night away and sent me to stay with my grandfather. I was not very happy about that, not at all really. I didn’t know my granddad very well and I had never been to his house. The few times I saw him I thought he was a rather strange man. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a choice, I had to go!

My mum and dad were in a hurry, as usual, so they dropped me in front of my grandfather’s street, and waited in the car until they saw me safely walking in. It was getting dark as I walked along the little street, it seemed gloomy (and I was a bit scared) but I saw my granddad’s house clearly, as some strange light seemed to glow out of its door, which was left ajar.

I knocked firmly and walked in. The place seemed as strange as the man; the light was both bright and shadowy and seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere. The ground looked like a forest floor and I could not see any walls, but trees everywhere. In fact, the room seemed much, much bigger than the house had appeared from the outside, almost as though it kept expanding as I walked in.

In front of me, I saw what looked like a huge desk behind which was an enormous bookshelf filled with all sorts of books and strange colourful things. Behind the desk, my grandfather stood straight with his hands resting in front of him. I could not see his face for the brightness of the display behind him. He was the first one to speak:
“Good evening Julia” he said gently.
“Hello grandpa”, I replied in a tone, which unintentionally betrayed my unwillingness to be here.
He smiled and walked out from behind his desk.
“Are you hungry? Would you like some tea and cakes? Or perhaps some hot chocolate?” he asked.

The thought of cakes suddenly made me forget the fact that I didn’t want to be here and I was thankful that my granddad had asked me such a simple and pleasant question and not how school was for instance. Grown ups always seem to ask the same questions.

The thought of cakes suddenly made me forget the fact that I didn’t want to be here and I was thankful that my granddad had asked me such a simple and pleasant question and not how school was for instance. Grown ups always seem to ask the same questions.

By the time we started eating, I had grown really curious about everything around the room, which looked like no other house I had ever seen and I couldn’t help but ask:
“Is this really your house grandpa? Or is it some sort of shop? Do you sell all these things you have here, did you make them? What do you do grandpa?”
My grandfather laughed at my little tirade of questions, but he replied calmly:
“I don’t sell anything Julia, I help people grow their wings.”
I started laughing because it sounded really funny but he just stared at me with a kind look.
“Do you have wings?” he asked.
“I’m not a bird!” I replied half jokingly half defensively.
“Perhaps you are a butterfly then!” he retorted.
I started laughing even more and thought what a sense of humour my grandfather had!
“What do you really do Grandpa? What do you sell in here?”
“I told you,” he replied, “I don’t sell anything, I just help people grow their wings.”
So I stopped laughing and for a while became convinced that my grandfather was crazy.
“What do you mean?” I enquired.
“Well, a lot of people wish that they could do things, but something stops them from doing them” he said. “Sometimes they are scared, or think that others would laugh at them if they did. Sometimes they think it’s too dangerous,” he continued, “and sometimes, they think it would be too difficult, and because they are frightened of failing, they don’t even try.”
“So?” I said.
“If they had wings, it wouldn’t matter, because when you have wings, you can take off as many times as necessary,” he said, “and you don’t have to be scared, because you can just fly away.”

I wasn’t very convinced by my grandfather’s explanation and I started looking around the ever-wider room for some clues as to what he really did or sold. I suddenly realised that there was no ceiling above me (I don’t know how I hadn’t noticed this before), instead, it was bare sky and the stars were shining.

My grandfather was still sipping his tea and smiling. He could see the look on my face, somewhere between shock, amazement and disbelief, but he said nothing. I continued scrutinizing the surroundings, no longer for clues, but out of sheer surprise. It was then that I saw it. On the bottom of the desk, something that looked like a small entrance to a completely different place.
“What is it?” I asked
“This is one of the places I take people to visit to help them grown their wings.”
“But what’s inside?” I asked again.
“You could call it a fairyland if you wish, but personally I call it my true home.”
“You mean you live in there Grandpa?” I asked with a slightly mocking tone.
“I live in many places Julia”, he answered mysteriously.
I glanced at the entrance again, it seemed really small, although if you looked well, you could see that it was very deep indeed and full of colours, I could also make out the sound of distant music. Still, I couldn’t figure how one would get in there, it just seemed too small and unreachable.
“Are you a magician grandpa?” I asked derisively “can you shrink yourself to get in there?”
He began to laugh heartily and I wasn’t sure what to think of him anymore.
“We often call magic the things that we cannot explain Julia.” “But no, I am not a magician in the sense that you mean. You think the way in is too narrow, but the closer you walk towards it, the wider it gets.” he explained. “Why don’t you try?”
“All right,” I said, and I stood up.

I started walking towards that door, and funny though it may seem, my grandfather was right, the closer I got, the wider it seemed to become. When I was less than a meter away from it, it had become large enough for me to walk in with all ease. But by then I had forgotten about the size of the door, because I could see inside.
“Wow!” I exclaimed. “That’s like another world!”
My granddad was laughing again.
“Is it another world Grandpa is it?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“Not everybody knows it,” he said, “in that sense, you could call it another world, but it isn’t really, it has always been here.”
“In your house?” I asked.
“It isn’t only in my house, there are doors that lead to it everywhere,” he replied, “but you can only see them if you look for them; not everyone does.”
“Wow!” I said again, because I was really dazzled.
“Can I… could I…may I go inside?” I asked nervously.

My grandfather smiled, stood up and walked towards me. He stretched his hand out and said:
“Of course you may, this is why this door is never locked, it stays open always.”
I was so excited it is hard to explain exactly what I felt, but as my grandfather led me in, I could feel something in my heart that was so strong, I could only call it… love, although the sound of the word ‘love’ seems too weak to justify the intensity of what I was experiencing. They should call “love’ something new like “extrawondisupamazihumondissincredibility” because it describes what I felt much better!

Now what I saw inside I can hardly even begin to describe, I will attempt to, but please do try to use your imagination… try to imagine the most beautiful things that you have ever seen or dreamed of, put together in one place. Not only that! The light reminded me of a golden autumn sunset, and more important than what I saw, it was what I could feel that was by far the best. Yes I know that I already mentioned this, but I felt so good. Yes, I simply felt good. I was relaxed yet I could feel my heart pumping, and it seemed to be pumping flowers and stars! I know it sounds silly, but it did!

The landscape kept changing right in front of me, alive in an almost literal way. It seemed like the coming together of several worlds of all shapes and sizes. There were tiny houses with colourful smoke coming out of some of them and even the smoke seemed to be filled with its own life. The trees were like nothing I had ever seen before and as I turned around to look at my granddad, I was the one who couldn’t stop smiling now. In fact it dawned on me that I hadn’t stopped smiling since we had walked in, because my jawbone and cheeks were starting to ache.

“It’s all right, you get used to it”, said my granddad, who must have read my mind,
“ your jaw and cheek muscles become stronger, so you can smile more!”
I looked at his face, beaming with its own smile, as bright as the fantastic scenery that was now unfolding behind him. Trees replete with flowers and… sweets! I began to understand a little bit more about how the cakes had appeared back at his place. I was also beginning to experience a strange unfolding within me, an inner transformation clearly brought about by this unlikely place. My grandfather had called it his true home, and somehow I reckoned he may have meant that it represented his inner state of being, the home in his head, as it seemed to mirror his original mind.

We walked on slowly, looking at this most unusual and constantly mutating scene, which seemed quite unreal, and yet I was fully aware that I was in it. Could this have anything to do with flying? I wondered. And just as was thinking this, I raised my eyes to the distant sky and suddenly realised that there were other people around… and they were flying!

“These people are flying!” I cried in amazement, “they are flying!”
“Yes” replied my grandfather, “they are.”
“How do they do that?” I asked incredulously.
“Well, it’s much easier than it seems,” he explained, “first they must know what they really want, then they have to believe in it.” I looked at him, expecting a more detailed explanation, or some magical clarification involving fairy dust, spells or something similar, but all he added was:
“They must really believe in it, or else the wings won’t grow.”
“I don’t believe it!” I said.

Grandpa laughed and stroked my hair:
“Julia,” he said, “do you not see? They are flying”
After a brief pause, he added: “and you could fly too.”
“But how?” I almost screamed.
“Is there not something you always wanted to do or be? Think hard Julia. It might be something you may never have told anyone but which is really dear to you?”
I knew what he meant, and I also knew that there were many things I had always dreamed of doing and of being. “Yes,” I replied, “of course there are.”
“If you really believe firmly in them and work really hard to achieve them, your wings will grow.” The expression on his face had changed and I could sense that he was almost willing me to assimilate his words.
“Is it really that simple grandpa? I hesitated, “no fairy dust? No potions, nothing?”
“The simplest things are often the hardest to achieve Julia” he smiled.
“Does it hurt?”
“It may, it does sometimes” he answered, “but when your wings are fully grown, the pain goes away.”

I became very thoughtful and for a while, my smile disappeared. I went over everything my grandfather had said and what I was seeing and feeling. His words only made sense to me if I coupled them with my ever growing conviction that this world I was now in was both real and it wasn’t. As though I made it real by believing that it was. I am not sure how else to explain this to you, I hope that you understand me… I no longer thought that my granddad was crazy and besides, I knew that I wouldn’t mind a little pain in order to be able to fly, it certainly seemed worth it. Slowly, the smile started coming back. I reckon my cheek and jaw muscles were already getting stronger.

My grandfather must have perceived the change within me because he said:
“This beautiful smile that you have been wearing since we walked in here is an incredibly helpful tool to help your wings grow as well!”
“Why?”
“A smile, a genuine smile dear Julia, is an amazingly powerful weapon, because not only does it make you feel better, but it makes others feel good too. It’s a bit like giving out a piece of your heart and spreading happiness, that’s very important.”
“But will my heart not shrink if I keep giving pieces of it?” I worried.
“On the contrary,” he replied, laughing, “ the way a heart works is unique, the more you smile, the bigger it will get, so you can give and receive more smiles, and smiling will make the pain of your wings growing much more bearable!”

All this talk about hearts and smiles had taken my focus away from the new world I was in. We had arrived near a lake that was tinted violet by the skylight. I sat amongst bright red flowers and stared at the water. It too seemed to hold the secrets of flying. If I had learned anything from this place, it was that no words could explain what my grandfather had tried to elucidate. As I stared at the vast watery expanse, I made a huge effort to listen to whatever it may have been trying to whisper to me. Please don’t laugh, I know you may be thinking that I was the one being crazy now, but I was determined to find the secret that lay in those words which didn’t exist, or rather, the word-less meaning of what my grandfather and his “true home” were trying to explain in much more subtle ways. Immersed in deep concentration, I closed my eyes.

Did I discover the secret then? Well it’s a secret, isn’t it? And it wouldn’t be a secret anymore if I told you, would it? However what happened next may give you a clue.

As I opened my eyes again, I did not, for a few seconds, understand exactly what was happening. Then it dawned on me: I saw vast hills covered with vivid flowers and stars. Had they fallen from the trees or from the sky? I wasn’t sure. Were they a reflection in the water? I couldn’t see the lake anymore. Everything seemed so small, it was a bird’s eye view. I was flying!

Too stunned to say anything, I glanced behind me. Delicate butterfly wings were fluttering gracefully on my black. They felt weightless, I mean I felt weightless! My grandfather was flying too, his were hummingbird wings.
“I told you!” he joked and went on:
“Your wings change depending on where and how you are flying.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“If you are flying out of happiness, as you are now for instance, you normally have butterfly, hummingbird or macaw’s wings,” he explained. “When you are flying out of determination, towards a very specific purpose, they tend to be more like eagle, ibis or condor wings, and so on and so forth.”
“Ah!” I exclaimed, I didn’t know what to say, all this was so new and exciting to me.

My granddad and I flew over the areas we had already walked and beyond. He explained that you have to train your wings a lot before you master flying. I ran into a couple of trees and got my wings all tangled, but that was all right, each time, I took off with more skill. “It happens sometimes,” said my granddad, “but the important thing is that you know how to do it.”

I couldn’t say how long we had spent in this wondrous place, it seemed like only minutes and forever at the same time, but my grandfather reminded me that my parents were due to pick me up very soon. We flew back and arrived just in time. My wings were somehow folded and hidden away. I said goodbye to my granddad with what I intended to be the longest and warmest hug he had ever received.

My parents were waiting for me in the car, right where they had dropped me. They did not seem surprised by the satisfied look on my face. Something in their eyes clearly revealed (again, without words) that they had an inkling as to what had happened in there. But as I was walking along the tiny road to reach them, that same road that had seemed so gloomy when I first arrived, I realised that my grandfather was right again, I noticed many entrances to what he called his “true home” and they were not small.

- the end

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